Saturday, August 17, 2013


So I've been told by a few (ok, many) that I should record some of the more outlandish tales of males gone wrong and I guess, maybe in a way, it will be therapeutic and I'll be able to stop shaking my head every time I think of it... And so, I give you

The Tale of the Unbelievably Needy Boy

It was my first semester attending college, wayyyyyyy back, spring two thousand and NINE (yes, FOUR years ago) and I was in my English 1A basic comp class. As such, I'm never apposed to making new friends, so when buckero over here sat down by me and started chatting me up- sure, I was flattered. Sure, he was short and younger than me, but only by eighteen months, and so I thought, hey, what the heck. He was good looking and social and a fast talker, which led to our going out one or two times-- then it became apparent he had the world's worst  a fairly bad case of little man syndrome, and his constant need for attention out of and in the class room continued to get me, goody-two-shoes, in trouble with the instructor, as this dude simply could not keep his mouth shut. 
Needless to say, I lost interest hard and fast and cut off any extracurricular hang out times, which was easily do able when the semester ended. I managed to avoid his texts and fb private messages that summer, and while we supposedly go to the same church, I've only seen him in attendance maybe twice?, both times of which I've ducked my head and let my hair fall in front of my face. Very mature of me, I know.
So, all that to say, I met this guy in 09, went out maybe two times and I have avoided him ever since. In the mean time, I continued to attend college and work, he went to Joshua Wilderness at Hume and yettttt... Every four to six month I get a fb message from him, asking if we can hang out. 
I kid you not, over the last four years; like clockwork.
Now, you might be asking yourself, why are you even friends on facebook, you have multiple degrees of separation before you have mutual friends and you haven't been out since '09. 
Well, to you and I, common folk, we wouldn't continue to pursue something that is clearly nothing, HOWEVER, this boy is clearly no mortal- he's indestructible can't-take-no-for-an-answer-boy! When we met in '09 he added me on facebook; ok, no problem, we're friends, we're hanging out = facebook friends. 
But then I realized he's one of the last people I want in my life, so I *gasp* unfriended him. I didn't care to see his business, and he doesn't need to see mine. NBD, right? Wrong. I get a friend add from him again, with a guilt ridden message asking why we're not friends. And I, in all my harmonizer glory, while not replying to his message, re-add him. Only to unfriend him again a few months later, thinking he wouldn't notice. Wrong again! I'm not kidding, this guy has readded me at least three times. 
Un. Real. [In typing this out, this is all very creepy ….I'm starting to think maybe I need a restraining order...]
Anyway, so fast-forward to this year.  This spring I, again, get an unsolicited private message from him on facebook saying “We should hang out some time! Text me!” and gives me his number.
Umm; really? No.
So I ignore the message, and even more, ignore his demand to text him.  I have at no point in the last three years shown any interest to be his friend, hang out with him…. If we had mutual friends and were at a party or gathering together, would I be friendly towards him; sure, because I’m a nice person (well, no, at this point I wouldn’t give him any sort of attention as he’s clearly crazy) but I have no need to create pseudo friendships based on private facebook messages and texting. Pluhhhheeeeaaaasssseeeee.
And so I submit for your consideration: Exhibit A – a screen shot of our private facebook message. 

Please notice, his use of emoticons to express his distress and my kind, if not generic, reply to stop this. And then his yet again unsolicited message this last week.
Seriously dude?. Stop.
You’re embarrassing yourself.
And so to this last message I almost replied “Is this what they taught you in Joshua?” but I felt compelled to stick with simply not replying.

Seriously. What would YOU do? Any tips, tricks or comments? I'm open to suggestions as clearly my current course of action (or lack there of) is not producing the desired results. . .

And there you have it friends, how to make enemies and alienate people.  I just can’t figure out what is going on in his little noggin that he keeps trying- I mean, props to him for NEVER giving up, but for real dude, stop.
This is real life: I get creepy young dudes with little man syndrome who are hella annoying. Yay me.

Today I unfriended him.
Stay tuned to when he adds me.

aintgottimeforthis girl

ps. it should be mentioned, this male is a 24 year old specimen of the current human race.
 doesn't give much hope does it...

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